Since the onset of the COVID situation, I have been asking deeper questions around social change and learning, schooling, online learning, socio - political influences on life choices and meaning of freedom to live. I am deeply hurt to see parents attempting quick fixes to their current situation of having children at home 24 / 7. Parents who were averse to screen time are now willingly letting their children spend hours in front of screens in the name on 'online schooling'. Parents who felt schools were non negotiable are considering homeschooling only because they do not want to spend money on school fees as the entire burden of getting school work done has been thrown in their kitty. What messages are the children getting here?
I am deeply pained to see that for some of the parents the 'CHILD' is nowhere in the picture. Not many are concerned about what the children want...how do they feel and how has the lockdown affected them. I reason this out by thinking that first and foremost, it is important for parents to delve deeper into what this new system is doing to them - how the unfolding of this system is bringing challenges and triumphs and in what way does this impact them. A few homemaker moms who I have spoken to several times, shared that atleast now they have something to do with their children. Get them ready, sit for sessions, ensure they complete their homework and prepare for tests. Online school keeps them busy.
I wont say that the parents aren't concerned about their children. What I have come to reason out is that parents are feeling lost. They are witnessing the breakdown of a system they felt was non-negotiable - a must in the life of their child. They are facing an additional burden of waking their children up and getting ready for school - wearing uniform and all to sit across a screen subject to zoom lessons.
A parent I spoke to revealed that she no longer wants her child to go through this as she has become a 'devil' in the life of her child. "I am always scolding and shouting at my child for getting distracted, for walking away from the computer, for not participating, for wanting to play online games during a school session." I think it would be better if I homeschool him and take him out of school as these online classes don't work for me." It is tough when there are two or more children in the family and resources have to be shared. "We seem to have no choice, but to buy separate devices for our children." shared a mom with two children. And in these tough times when businesses are collapsing and people are facing unemployment risks a fairly large additional expense it definitely not welcome.
Some teachers make it fun and worthwhile, while some teachers are struggling with technology and / or their own household challenges. A friend who is a teacher at a Delhi school shared, "I am taking classes from 8:00 am to 1:00 pm and then have to spend the entire afternoon preparing for my classes on the following day, checking their homework assignments." Since she is not used to online teaching, she spends a lot more time than others who are tech savy. "I am learning and getting used to this new routine, however I am so stressed out - I have to work and also ensure that my children are online and then I have all the housework and the cooking too."
Parents who call me to 'know more about Homeschooling' reveal that they are considering homeschooling only for this year. Their biggest fear is whether schools will take them back next year. They also want tips on how to teach their children, prepare schedules and buy resources and curriculums so that their children don't lag behind. When I tell them that homeschooling is different from regular schooling and one cannot expect to create a school at home - they seem unconvinced. So I simply share what has worked for us as a family and urge them to take things a bit slow and observe the rhythm that's emerging in their household. I tell them that if you see everyone happy and having fun - then whatever choices you have made are working out for you. However if not - i.e if you seem to be having a hard time and are always stressed out, your relationship with your child and other family members is deteriorating and your child seems to be unhappy, disinterested or is throwing tantrums or meltdowns - you need to start relooking at your situation and try something new. I also assure them that I am here and they can call me anytime to explore new ways of learning and parenting.
Life is a journey and experience is the best teacher after all!
I feel so bad for parents. They are trying so hard to hold on to a system that is failing. They are not willing to see beyond and believe that there are other ways of doing things. Some parents are strong and resilient and are using humor to get past this circumstance. Some are also looking for other options. Some parents have adjusted to the new routine and rhythm and openly display the online schooling achievements of their children. I am happy for such parents.
So those parents who are struggling and need some support do go through my article on tips on homeschooling...which at times I would like to rename as tips for new homeschoolers and online schooling parents. And to end I would like just say that "what counts is what matters." So parents do reflect and think about what is important to you and your family. What is it that counts?
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