It is Friday today. Did the week really pass by so quickly?
I remember – The 21 day lockdown seemed a long battle for me last week. My children and I had been mostly indoors since we returned from LSUC 2020 on the 10th of March. Our colony had requested people to avoid walks and had closed down their outdoor facilities too since the 21 day lockdown was announced.
No one likes it when their freedom is curtailed, when you have no choice. I sure knew that this time, I had no choice and it was imperative that I stay at home. The impact of the messages telling me to look at the positive and be thankful for being in a safe and secure surrounding was proving to be short-lived. It was not as though I wasn’t thankful or grateful for everything. I am and I spend a few minutes every day thanking everyone and the entire universe for being helpful and kind. It was just that it wasn’t helping me pass time.
I was trying hard too…finding things to keep myself busy and occupied – cooking, cleaning, writing, reading, watching movies, series of Netflix and Amazon prime, playing with my children, taking my dog for a walk, working on a couple of projects. I did have moments when I felt happy when I completed a task… I did complete all the tasks I set for myself and yet I was restless.
So, I decided to go deeper into this feeling and understand it better. After a lot of thinking and self talk with my heart and my mind, I learnt that I wasn’t actually in the here and the now. I wasn’t living my present. My restlessness was a result of me being caught in the future. I was caught in something yet to happen. I was caught in living and reliving the unknown in my mind…I was constantly thinking about what I would do after Corona. I was adding ‘to do’ things to my bucket list and I saw a pattern in my thoughts – After the lockdown period is over…I am going to…even when I was working on a task – I was only looking at the end…so it was… after I clean – the house will look nice. After I finish washing – I will have fresh clothes and an empty laundry basket. I wasn’t enjoying the journey…as my focus was only on the end.
I was thoroughly enjoying being in the present only during one task – my daily writing – the notes I was sharing on FB. It was only during this activity that I was enjoying the process – I was enjoying – how my thoughts and my reflections flowed out through words. I rarely erased anything or rarely thought about – how would my writing appear to the reader. I just wrote words as they came to me.
And now I know the secret to enjoy the next two weeks of the lockdown period. I am going to live each experience. I am going to be more aware of myself during the little journeys I make while working on tasks – whether it is sweeping the floor or putting up the clothes to dry or cooking. I am going to immerse myself in my present and live it to the fullest…
Here is a short video of my son living in the present with his volleyball...
Originally posted on Facebook on April 3, 2020
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