I lost my post yesterday. I had typed out words that came straight from my heart and I lost it all. I shared some experiences, some reflections and some ideas to think about. To my surprise I did feel sad but I did not spend too much time dwelling over it. I moved on quickly into other pressing things. I realized that I had broken one of my patterns. The earlier me would have brooded over it and then would have spent another hour to rewrite everything and then I would have posted it. All my other tasks would have suffered and then I would have made excuses for not paying attention to other tasks.
I maintained my positive attitude even when my computer started acting a bit crazy just when the webinar on unschooling was about to begin. It kept rebooting. Once again I was surprised at how calmly I took my phone and logged into the zoom meeting through my phone apologizing for the glitch. The webinar went smoothly. Being my first one as a guest speaker, I was a bit nervous and anxious in the beginning but glided in smoothly after answering the first question.
Later, certain messages on my colony Whatsapp group left me disturbed for a while. Apparently a lady from a neighboring building had entered our colony to buy groceries and vegetables. She used to stay in the colony earlier and her husband yet worked for the company. A few people from this building had tested positive for the corona virus and thereby on seeing her in the premises got a resident to panic and raise an alarm and demand that she leave immediately.
Post all drama, she used the whatsapp group to vent out all the venom inside her. Fearing the worst; A few ladies demanded for an official circular to ban anybody from entering the premises. They also demanded strict action against those who take a walk or jog in the colony every morning and evening. They were also against children cycling around. What disturbed me was the tone in which all this was being said. What disturbed me was enforcing a ‘no choice’ situation among everybody. There was no attempt to find out why this lady entered our premises and there was no attempt to understand the perspective of the walkers and runners. Although I did believe in complete physical distancing as there were many positive cases in the neighborhood, I felt that there was a lack of empathy and compassion – making me wonder whether this virus is going to bring out the worst in us human beings.
I read a friend’s post where she stated that she has surrendered to the situation and to the virus. I asked myself – what would surrender mean to me? And this is what came to me – Surrendering to a situation for me would be – accepting everything that emerges in the situation without passing any judgement. There is no right or wrong and there are no ‘shoulds’. To believe that everyone has their reasons for reacting / behaving in certain ways and it is more important to understand what lies beneath the exterior. To not have expectations from others to behave in a particular way that matches my values and belief system. To embrace all the emotions in me and to focus on ‘what can I do?’
And I refrained from responding to the messages on whatsapp. I decided that I can refrain from going for my walks with an exception of taking my dog for her walk. I could ensure that my dog walks in secluded areas. I can stay indoors and ensure that my children stay indoors as much as possible. I can be empathetic and compassionate toward people who come in my contact. I can donate – to support the healthcare worker and all our caretakers. I can be polite when talking to people. I can make it through this lockdown in a calm and peaceful manner.
'It has happened for a purpose which will unfold in your heart like a seed that sprouts', commented a friend on my FB update on me losing my freshly typed post yesterday. Maybe yes – there is a larger message which is unfolding…
Pic courtesy - Pinterest
Originally posted on Facebook on March 29, 2020
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