Today my note is for all those women who are enduring many things during this lockdown period. Many seem to be stressed out and anxious. Many are in a panic situation. Some are using meditation, yoga and exercise to burn out this pressure. While some are engaging in doing things that they have never found the time for. Some are discovering new interests while some are rekindling their old passion. Some believe that they can contribute to the society by sharing their skills, talents, ideas, perspectives, questions and most importantly tips to manage and stay afloat during these trying times.
I go through ups and downs too. For one day I feel I am in control of the situation and on another day I feel completely lost. I am aware that the lockdown has been hard for everyone in my family. My oldest – who loves his solitude, often gets impatient and frustrated with all the noise and chaos made by his younger siblings. My second son, whose current need is to play outdoors with friends, hates sitting at home. My daughter is missing her friend who has gone to grandparents place in Satara and is clearly not happy that she cannot go out to play. She is bored. Though my husband has found something to do – he is working on a graphic dairy; he has his frustrating moments too. At times I observe a worried look on his face.
In such a situation it is easy to our cool and lash out at each other. There are times when no one feels like doing household chores and no one feels like cooking. My boys quarrel over who does what work and my daughter doesn’t like being told to pick up her toys.
I am sure that many would resonate with what I am sharing and feel that this is true for them too. So, the most important question – How do I keep my cool and calm attitude? How do I stay peaceful?
For one – I have come to terms with the fact that the home is not how it was before the onset of this calamity. Earlier my children had many things to do – their classes, their friends, the order-ins for food, freedom to move in and out. My husband had a schedule to follow and didn’t have to be cooped up at home. I had help and support of my househelp and my work too. So when the situation is different, I cannot expect the sameness to be there. Everything is going to be different.
Second – I believe that everyone in my home has the resources to take care of themselves – they can cook when they are hungry, can clean up their rooms and toys, and can plan their day. I do not have to take over and start doing things for them.
Third – I believe it is okay if we do not sweep or swob the floor for a day or two and I don’t have to do it all the time. If anyone expresses that the floor is dirty, or that they are hungry, I do not have to jump to satisfy them. They can clean and cook too and if I do all the cleaning – it is not a favour to everyone, I do it because it is my need at that point of time.
Four – Be okay with blunders. Mistakes will happen. Focus on how to resolve them instead of making them an ego issue. Just yesterday – I was cooking lunch in the kitchen and my oldest who had just woken up came in to say hello. A cluttered sink was on my mind and as soon as I saw him enter the kitchen I asked him to wash the dishes. He started washing with a grumpy face and grumbled all along, and blamed his brother for not doing any work. His grumbling irritated me and out of my frustration I lashed out – making him feel even more terrible. My ego had taken on the role of a suffering hero. He left the kitchen in a huff. I offered to dish out food for him and in his anger he refused to eat. I gave him some time to cool down and took a hot cup of coffee to his room…something he likes to have when he wakes up…and the site of the coffee and a plate full of food did the trick. He was back to being happy and helpful.
Five – The most important of all is connection. This is a time to put away your ego and connect with yourself and your family. Feel blessed that you have the much needed time to understand yourself and your family better …for in the end that is what matters the most…
Originally posted on Facebook on March 27, 2020
No comments:
Post a Comment